


how do you feel when you're away

by Mixini



Category: The Dragon Prince (Cartoon)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Post-Book: Through the Moon (The Dragon Prince), in which rayla has sad feels, midly, ttm spoilers, with some Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 06:39:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,493
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27689060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mixini/pseuds/Mixini
Summary: And you ask meHow do you pass the days?Sing along to a song that I knowIt goes a bah badaSing it over and overDizzy On The Comedown By Turnover
Relationships: Callum/Rayla (The Dragon Prince), Rayllum - Relationship
Comments: 3
Kudos: 21





	how do you feel when you're away

Rayla thought that leaving by herself was a good idea. A great one, in fact. Callum wouldn’t be put in danger, and that was the important thing. Plus, this would be easy! The dark mage had to be weak from his fall, if he even was alive, and if he was and she found his body, there was her closure. If not, she could finish what she started. Easy.

She’d ran off about two weeks ago. Maybe halfway to the Storm Spire, and very much lacking sleep. Ignoring the dark circles under her eyes and extremely messy hair (she hadn’t taken much time to keep it kempt), Rayla was doing just fine. Whether she was getting enough sleep was besides the point.

Finding a rather-nice tree branch to sleep in to make sure no banthers snuck up on her while she was asleep and stole her moonberries. But she didn’t estimate for something…

_ No….NO! _

“CAL- Ack!”

Tumbling off her tree branch because she woke up so abruptly, the elf barely managed to not fall completely down by grabbing onto it. “Okaaay, next time I’ll find somewhere less high up to sleep.”

The main problem with her plan was there were two factors she did not think of when Rayla came up with it.

First one, the nightmares. The ones that were usually comforted by the fact Callum was asleep a few feet away from her, and now he was probably miles away. Rayla simply had to shake them off now, reminding herself that the idiot prince was far off, probably at the Moon Nexus or Katolis.

And second…

She  **absolutely** did not estimate how much she would miss that idiot prince. 

She knew this subconsciously, considering how whenever she had to stop in a small village the second she saw a red scarf the elf girl hid, before seeing it wasn’t a fluffy-haired human. And she knew she shouldn’t feel relief and disappointment. It shouldn’t  _ hurt. _

Would she admit to herself? Absolutely not. Rayla just told herself this was for the greater good, that he wasn’t in danger. And if she had to die, then so be it.

Deciding that there was enough light to keep traveling, she flipped the hood of the cloak she took from the Moon Nexus over her head and continued her long as hell journey to the spire.

\---------------------------------------------------

She ended up traveling most of the day, stopping for only ten minutes every few hours to find moonberries and rest a bit before continuing on. With aching legs, the elf began to look for a place to rest for the night. The forest she was in was rather lush, with birds chirping and she saw a three-tailed moon squirrel run by her feet. Rayla was considering trying to sleep in a tree again, before she noticed smoke in the distance. A town, most likely, since she could see a few smaller streams of steam. She could even see a few lights from windows.

_ Should I…?  _ The Moonshadow elf considered it, and it wasn’t too far.  _ Would it be worth the risk? I know it’s risky staying in any towns for more than an hour. _ She debated it in her head before deciding to at least check it out, maybe get some food better than moonberries and other Xadian fruit.

Despite her aching legs, the girl decided to climb up a tree and jump her way to the smoke to get there faster. The bark felt rough under her fingers as she pulled herself up to the first branch. Of course, this was a terrible idea. And she would get proved that, as she accidentally climbed onto a weak one that couldn’t support her weight.

_ CRRRACK! _

Letting out a surprised “EEP!”, Rayla quickly began to fall. “No, no, no-” She frantically tried to grab onto something but despite her efforts, failed and ended up going unconscious from the fall.

\-----------------------------------------

If she didn’t know better, Rayla would wonder if she was back in Katolis. The soft bed felt familiar, as she slowly woke up from being knocked out. But the second she tried to open her eyes, she felt a sharp pain as if her head was protesting and shut them tightly closed with a pained groan. “Careful, dear. Your head is just rattled right now, give it a minute.” A voice cooed, seeming… friendly. Unfamiliar, but friendly.

Unsettled, despite the friendly tone, she tried slowly opening her eyes to minimize the pain and was greeted by a.... Moonshadow elf. Their hair was white, with purple-ish skin and little dark freckles on their cheeks and nose, with two stripes on their cheeks and one on their nose. They had one broken horn, and the other was curled with small spikes like deer antlers, both having rings on them.

“Well, good morning. You took quite the tumble last night, luckily your horns don’t seem to be damaged at all. Just a bit of a concussion and a bit of a bruise on your head and side, plus a sprained ankle and a cut on your cheek. You got lucky.” Rayla was… surprised with how sweet the elf was being. Moonshadow elves weren’t this compassionate with wounds and such, unless the elf was about to die normally.

“Name’s Finch. And you are?” They asked, pink-blue eyes friendly. “...Rayla.”  _ Should I get out of here? This is embarrassing… _ Her mind considered, but at the same time it seemed her injuries were bad. The elf could feel the bandages around her ankle and a bandage on her face; the pain in her side was practically stabbing her. “Darling, don’t be embarrassed.” The other Moonshadow reassured. “I know Moonshadow society is all “tough it out, no emotions” but you’re safe here.”

Rayla almost flinched at how much that sounded like something Callum would say. She managed to sit up, holding her side. “Uh… thanks. I’m surprised I haven’t seen you before though.” She nervously said, and Finch chuckled at the sentence. “Oh, I left Moonshadow society a long time ago. Was too “soft-hearted” for it.”

Her ears perked, lifting her head. That seemed a lot like what she experienced. “I can sort of relate to that.” Rayla chuckled, feeling more comfortable knowing this person was like her. “Are you hungry at all? I can put a pie in the oven!” The injured elf nodded. “Also… where am I?” Rayla inquired to Finch.

“Feathered Inn and Tavern.” Finch answered before leaving the room and leaving her alone. Looking around the room, it was actually quite nice. It was small and quaint, with a carpet that looked like the night sky and lavender walls decorated with paintings and pictures, lanterns lighting the room. 

The bed had purple sheets, with white flowers and comfy pillows. Her cloak was hanging on a hook, along with the bag she carried her food in and her blades leaned against the wall under it.

While Rayla studied the paintings best she can, something opened the door and poked it’s head in. She looked over to see… a dog. It seemed to be quite a big and fluffy one, with orange markings on his face and bright blue and orange eyes. “Oh, hello there!” The dog walked over and sniffed at her hands, before licking them and making Rayla chuckle. “Aren’t you a friendly little pup.”

The dog eventually climbed up onto the bed, sitting at her side. It was honestly a comfort… reminding her of Zym. She wondered how the storm prince was doing. Quickly shoving those wonders away before she thought about another certain prince, she gently hugged the big fluff, as they seemed to smile with kind eyes.

“Rayla! The pie’s done!” She heard Finch’s voice call from the hall, “There’s a crutch in the closet if your ankle hurts, or you can lean on Juniper, my big fluffy malamute.” Deciding to lean on Juniper, she slowly got up and the dog helped her get over to the big main room, where Finch pulled out a pie from an oven and blew on it. “Good to see you up and about, Rayla! Just give it a second to cool, you can sit where ever you want.”

Juniper helped her walk over to a rather comfy plush couch, and Rayla was a bit surprised there was nobody else in the inn. Then, she looked over to the main door and saw a ‘CLOSED’ sign left up. “I like to close the Inn every other day to let myself recharge. Lotsa people coming in and out can stress an elf out!” Finch explained. “Plus my wife is coming back from traveling to Lux Aurea to help them out with rebuilding. Very talented blacksmith, her. She’ll adore you.”

Juniper stayed at Rayla’s side, as she chuckled. “Well I hope she does so she doesn’t mind my little stay.” Finch laughed at that, but not in a teasing way. “She won’t mind at all, hon.” Once the pie was cooled down enough, the innkeeper took it off the counter and put it on the coffee table in front of Rayla. “Moonberry pie, my own grandma’s recipe.”

Making sure it wasn’t hot, Rayla tried a bit of it. And was quite surprised at how purely delicious it was, since she hadn’t had it before. “Wow, this is really good! You have to give me that recipe sometime…” She trailed off, avoiding what she was gonna say.  _ For when I go home. _

Finch seemed slightly worried at the way Rayla trailed off, but wasn’t gonna question her. “Of course! I’ll give you a copy of it.” The two Moonshadow elves ate in peace while making small talk. Finch’s wife was an Earthblood elf, and they’d been married for about five years. Previously she made weapons for the war but now that it was over she decided to help Lux Aurea rebuild from the dark mage destroying their city.

It still made Rayla shiver. When Janai told them what happened… It honestly unsettled her. Viren having that much power honestly made her reconsider what she was doing. But she reminded herself what she always told herself. That it was for the greater good.

They eventually finished half of it (leaving the other half for the innkeeper’s wife) and after chatting more and Finch changed the bandage on Rayla’s cheek, Finch’s wife came in. “Acacia!” Finch excitedly chirp, getting up and hugging her. “Hi birdie!” Acacia cooed softly. “Hope you didn’t miss me too much.”

Birdie. It seemed the universe was determined to make Rayla as homesick as possible.

Acacia looked over Finch’s shoulder (the earthblood elf was about 4 inches shorter than her spouse), and noticed Rayla. “Did you make a new friend?” Finch seemed to perk up. “Oh! Yes! Rayla, this is Acacia, I told you about her. And Acacia, this is Rayla!” The moonshadow waved as she looked up from petting Juniper. Acacia smiled ki, “Nice to meet you, Rayla!” in her gravelly voice.

The earthblood elf was a dark-skinned woman with horns that almost looked like tree branches, and they were wearing a grimy shirt that seemed to be maroon with golden patterns and rather large boots, making them seem taller than they were.

“So how’d you end up here? Thought Finchie didn’t like visitors today.” Acacia asked politely. “Oh, I found her yesterday. Poor thing fell!” Finch explained, and Rayla felt her ears get a bit red. She was still getting used to other people taking care of her. “Well, that explains the bandages. But you’ll be fixed up tomorrow, I bet! My spouse here is a miracle worker.” Finch seemed to chuckle a bit, seeming slightly flustered.

The three then bantered throughout the day, even playing some board and card games. Finch angrily chirped, “Dangit, junebug! You won again!”, and Acacia only responded with a smirk and “I’m just talented, sweetheart.”. It was… nice. Rayla hadn’t been able to relax like this in the two weeks she’d been travelling.

It almost felt like she was back home.

Almost. It was only missing a red scarf.

\-----------------------------------------

Acacia and Finch were asleep upstairs, and Rayla was in her own room. Juniper was with her, sleeping at the foot of her bed. The mattress was soft and comfy, along with the pillows and comforter.

Yet she  **_still_ ** couldn’t sleep. And she couldn’t tell if it was because of her not wanting to have nightmares again, or she just… couldn’t sleep. Rayla huffed as she was wide awake, angrily annoying her own thoughts.

Figuring that if she was unable to sleep, she could explore the inn. Nobody was awake anyway, she could simply wander around undisturbed. Rayla carefully got up, careful to not wake up Juniper and slowly opened the door to keep the creaks quiet. Her ankle hurt a bit less after resting it for a while, so she was able to walk a bit more normally. 

Walking around the inn, she found it was quite big. With a rather large kitchen, front desk, and upstairs was Acacia’s and Finch’s living space. Rayla decided to explore upstairs, making sure to not poke into anything that looked personal. It was quite nice, with a quaint little living room and after looking around more she found…

A balcony. It had rather comfy chairs, for looking at the view. And it was  _ really pretty. _ The inn was in front of a forest, so the balcony had the perfect view of it. She decided to stay on it, for a while. To just… think. It was peaceful, looking over the beautiful Xadian forest that was practically glowing with magic.

_ Callum would really like it here. _

A little voice in her head whispered, and she had to shake her head. God, no matter how much Rayla tried he was always just… on her mind. Subconsciously or not. And the thing was, it was damn right. That lovable mage would lose his  **mind** at a place this pretty. Callum would adore an inn with this much magic, probably be great friends with Finch and Acacia, the charmer.

“Can’t sleep?”

Rayla turned her head to see Acacia, in a nightrobe and with a kind smile on her face. Rayla hesitantly nodded before turning back to the balcony view, resting her head on the fence. The elf sat next to her, pulling up a chair. “Why can’t you sleep?” She inquired.

The Moonshadow simply shrugged. “Dunno.” She answered, knowing why she couldn’t. Instead of answering further, she distracted herself by trying to see if there were any animals scurrying around in the forest below.   
“Thinking about anything?” Acacia asked, and Rayla had to think about it… before just shaking her head. It seemed the Earthblood could tell that was a lie, and instead responded, “You’re homesick, aren’t you?”

_ Jeez, she really got it right on the nose.  _ At that point, she decided to just nod. Acacia’s face seemed to become sympathetic. The woman responded, “Yeah. I feel that. I miss my little Earthblood town a lot, but I visit them a lot. See my family at least once a month,” She said, before adding, “What are you doing travelling on your own anyway?”

“It’s…” She paused, wondering what to say, “honestly a long story.” Rayla answered her question simply, trying to get out of really telling her why, but Acacia wasn’t fooled. “We’ve got the whole night for you to talk.”  _ Dang it! _

Sure, Rayla was getting better at sharing her emotions. But only to people she really trusted, not a stranger she met only a few hours ago. But she seemed… kind. And understanding. “I… had to leave. To protect people that I care about,” Rayla nervously said, still hesitating, “And I guess I didn’t estimate how much I’d be, well, homesick.”

Acacia’s face became soft with empathy, and her tone was gentle. “Finch told me that Moonshadow culture was like that. Always handle problems by yourself, no sharing emotions, all that. But here’s the thing. It’s not like that. In real life, I mean.” The elf’s ears perked up, turning her head from the view to shift her attention to Acacia.

“You don’t have to fix them all by yourself. You have to let those people you trust in… Otherwise it bubbles up and eventually you break the bottle you’re putting all your emotions in,” The elf advised, “It’s hard to be honest, I know that. But you can’t just hold it in.”

Ignoring the fact Acacia reminded her of Callum, she sighed before saying, “I know. I’ve been trying to do that, but not very easy… opening up. I can do it with someone I trust but not really anyone else. I thought me leaving was a good idea to help protect them but… I didn’t think I would want to go back home this much.” Rayla had to keep the cracks out of her voice when she said “home”, especially since she didn’t mean Katolis or Silvergrove. Acacia’s golden eyes were soft, and she opened her arms. “Hug?” Hesitantly, Rayla took it. The hug was, well, comforting.  _ I didn’t know I needed a hug this bad. _

Acacia then cooed gently, “So, you mentioned needing to… open up more, right?” Rayla nodded, moving away from the hug to pay attention. “Well, if you don’t mind, I’d be willing to lend an ear.” That single sentence, for some reason, was a big comfort for the elf. Usually she avoided sharing her emotions to not feel like a burden so the fact she offered to listen was oddly comforting. “What, do you want my whole life or something else?” Rayla joked, and Acacia laughed. “Either one, honestly.” 

She sighed, watching the view. “I dunno… Sometimes I just think about whether me leaving my home was a good idea because usually I think that it was a good idea and then I just get so homesick I want to just… give it up and go back,” Rayla sighed, looking down. “And even if it was a good idea, I wonder if it really was if I feel… so BAD about it.”

That was probably the first time she actually accepted the fact she wanted to go back. That she was ridden with guilt, and Rayla wondered if it would be easier to give up looking for Viren on her own and go back to Callum and Ez. Acacia seemed to understand, but then took the elf girl off-guard.

“You’re not talking about a place when you say home, aren’t you? You’re talking about a person… right?”

“Jeez, you can read me like a book.” The woman beside her chuckled at that. “I’m married to a Moonshadow elf, it was either figure out how they express emotions or don’t. And I picked the first option.” Rayla chuckled at that. “Well, I’m surprised you figured it out. Most people can’t figure us out at all. Emphasis on most.” Acacia chuckled, smiling. “You’re funny kid.” 

“But, on other topics. I see your dilemma. Stuck between duty and a feeling of having to do something, and guilt and loneliness. But… I think I understand what you’re stuck in. Your mindset, I mean.” Rayla perked her head. “Oh?” Acacia continued nervously. “You’re stuck in the mindset where you think you have to save everyone… but you ignore the fact that sometimes you need saving too. Because you don’t have to always protect everyone, you sometimes need protection too. So don’t go thinking that way.”

Rayla was quite surprised at how she got that so perfectly. “...Yeah. You got it perfectly.” The Earthblood’s face became soft, forehead wrinkled with worry. “Oh sweetie, you haven’t had the best life being a Moonshadow elf, have you?” She hesitantly nodded, and the elf next to her soothingly gave her a hug from the side. “I’m sorry, dear.”

The elven girl accepted the comfort, leaning into the hug. “But… if you really want to, you could go back to your home. Nobody’s holding a knife to your throat and telling you to go off on your own. Just yourself.” Rayla chuckled at the notion. “Well, even if I did that, I don’t… know if I could.” Acacia seemed confused, before the gears in her brain turned and she went, “Oooh…”. The elf nodded, and replied, “I kinda… screwed up. Went behind his back and all.” The golden-eyed elf seemed even more concerned. “Oh dear… But that doesn’t mean you can’t go back.”

Now Rayla was the puzzled one, tilting her head. “What are you talking about? I mean, he’s gotta hate me for doing that. I knew what I was doing.” Acacia seemed amused almost, as she responded. “That’s no reason to just hate someone because they messed up. You’re human! You’re meant to make mistakes.” Acacia assumed that the Moonshadow would see her point, but instead saw she was… still confused. “What, do Moonshadows also not allow mistakes?”

She was joking, of course, chuckling, but Rayla just looked back at the view while resting her head on the fence. “Oh… I’m sorry.” She shrugged. “It’s fine, I’m over it. Doesn’t hurt that most of the love I experienced was conditional.” Acacia was worried for her, but even more concerned at how…  _ casually  _ she said it. But, she connected the dots. “So that’s why you think he hates you now… because everyone else has dropped you the second you made a mistake.”

Rayla perked her head to nod before setting it back down. “Well, let me tell you one thing, Rayla,” Acacia got comfy in her chair, “That’s your brain messing with you. One hundred percent.” The Moonshadow girl seemed perplexed at her statement. “What do you mean?” The elf responded to her inquiry, “It’s just your brain doing what it’s meant to do: protect you. Unfortunately, sometimes it sees a pattern with people and thinks everyone’s gonna be like that. So you meet someone whose not like what your brain’s used to in the slightest, and it denies it.” Acacia explained to her.

“So then you have to figure out how to break that self-destructive cycle. And it’s easier said than done.” Rayla was… honestly a bit surprised which lead to her asking, “Okay, question. How have you been able to explain my life when you’ve only known me for a day?” Acacia giggled at that. “My mom’s a therapist. She taught me all her tips, just in case I needed them. I guess I did.”

Rayla chuckled, and the two sat in silence for a bit, listening to the trees rustle with the breeze that blew in, making the air peaceful. “Okay, now I need you to tell me about this person because you’ve been making me curious this whole time.” Acacia broke the silence, and Rayla quickly protested, “What! Absolutely not. You would tease me!”

“I would not!”

“I heavily doubt that, Acacia.” Rayla continued to protest, and the two ended up having playful banter for a bit. “Alright, alright. Keep your little home to yourself. But I already know two things about them.” Acacia said in a gentle, yet playful tone. “Oh? What’s that?”

“Well, first you’re an absolute sap for him-” Acacia got cut off because Rayla gawked before shoving her. “I am not! If you met him you’d know he is  _ absolutely  _ the sappier one.” Acacia giggled before continuing. “And second, I bet they miss you just as much as you miss them.” She scoffed at that. “Pff, don’t think so.”  (shewasverywrong)

Her and Acacia had more banter before going to sleep, and Rayla went back to her room to find an awake Juniper, excited to see her back and making sure she didn’t fall while making it back to the bed. The dog jumped into bed with her, and the elf certainly mind the big floofball. “Goodnight, Juniper.” She fell asleep almost immediately, tired.

However, while Rayla was fast asleep, Acacia wasn’t. Instead, she tip-toed her way down the stairs to poke into her room to check in on her, to find she seemed… to be having nightmares. Luckily, Acacia had the perfect solution as she quickly shuffled through a cabinet and found a feathered blanket that was a bit weighted, and brought it over to her room and very carefully cocooned the girl in it and… Rayla immediately relaxed and it seemed her nightmare faded away, as she began to let out little snores peacefully.

_ Aww, how cute… She mentioned the person she described as home being a sky mage and being able to do a wing spell, so I figured it would calm her down. _

\-----------------------------------------

Rayla groaned as Finch woke her up, feeling a weighted blanket on her.  _ Wh… I don’t remember having one.  _ She thought, puzzled, but ignored it. “Hey, wake up. If you wanna get out of here before I open the inn for the day, I recommend you get going soon.” The Moonshadow elf still protested, wanting to just curl up and hibernate in the cozy bed, but she did want to leave before people started to come in.

Her lavender eyes slowly opened, rubbing them and her vision was a bit blurry because of the grogginess she still felt. Finch helped her up and found that Rayla’s ankle wasn’t in much pain anymore, and she could walk slightly normally. “Well that’s quite surprising. The grass must’ve cushioned your fall, you fell right into a meadow.” 

Finch had already prepared breakfast for her, Acacia, and the Moonshadow girl, so the three ate while the innkeeper asked Rayla about her travels. “Where are you heading?” They chirped, and she decided to be honest. “The storm spire.” Their green eyes went wide before replying, “Jeez, you’re travelling that far?” They sound surprised, honestly perplexed as to why she would be going there. “Yeah.”

The three talked more and eventually, sunrise faded into day and Finch decided to send Rayla on her way. But before she left, Finch made sure to give her plenty of food and bandages, just in case she hurt herself again and couldn’t get help. Seeing as the town was still relatively empty, she gave them both a hug goodbye (along with Juniper, of course) and a promise to visit again, and she left the inn, hood over her head and bag slung around her shoulders.

The town Feathers Inn And Tavern was in was relatively nice, and there were some elves already awake and starting their days, opening shops and such. Rayla thought it… was nice. Small, unlike Katolis, but cozy. Admiring the town was… nice. She heard windchimes ring and dogs barking or cats meowing.

As she admired the houses and the town in general, she spotted… a red scarf. Quickly hiding behind an unoccupied stall, Rayla looked closer to see it wasn’t who she thought it was, instead a Sunfire elf. She felt relief at that, letting out a breath she was holding.

But it still hurt.

**Author's Note:**

> JESUS CHRIST I FINISHED THIS IN TWO DAYS  
> it might not be the best work I can do, but i had an angsty idea and ran with it! might write a sequel, who knows. prequel with extra fluff, perhaps? anyway imma go die now this is much word  
> sorry it looks wonky, it looks better in google docs i swear
> 
> literally forgot to add i inserted my own headcanon that rayla called callum birdie so.  
> EDIT: I MADE IT NOT LOOK WONKY LETS GOOOO
> 
> update: hallo! i am currently working on two sequels to this, outlining one and making a draft of another!


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